Saturday, November 30, 2002
Today dragged ass at work. On top of that I ran into a couple of people from my old job. It was bound to happen again, but I really didn't care. They weren't people I had an issue with so it was cool. While at work at though I talked it up with Kristin. No less than an hour before I was telling Manuel how I NEEDED to go shake my ass, she mentions how she hasn't been DT in awhile. It's been too long for me too.. Dancing is one of my main ways of relieving stress - and there has been a fair amount of stress going on. As verbose as I am in this journal, I do NOT let on to all that is going on. Some things aren't for public consumption. There have been those who have been incredibly helpful in more ways than one, among them but in no particular order: Audrey, Peter, Allison, Cami, and Ed. Thank you guys. Much love.

Kristin and I ended up at Sharkeez and damn it was fun! Three words: soul train line! The funniest crap happens when you don't expect it!! I had thought I had seen it all! No such thing. To mess with Kristin, I ask her all melodramatically: do you know how to dance? I'm a bastard. : She made me proud. It was much needed fun and dancing.

School again in January. Thank god I can't wait!

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Thursday, November 28, 2002
Thanksgiving. Take away the commercial nonsense; 12 hours sales, incessant turkey advertising, et al, you have the makings of a really great holiday. Tara was saying how commercial the holidays have gotten and I totally agree. At the same time, it's an opportunity to be with the people you care about.

So today I spent the day with a bunch of my friends in town. That was funky dope. Dave is a turkey making God! He made a traditional roasted one AND he made this bomb grilled one! He stuffed different herbs and stuff under the skin and grilled it. That was some of the best turkey I've had in life! I brought artery clogging mac-n-cheese and a cornbread dressing. The latter was an improvised dish and came out pretty good. It was good kicking it with my peeps!!

To all my other family and friends and loved ones: hope y'all had an awesome day!

Nada called me up to wish me a Happy T-day and we ended up kicking it at my place. I lit the fireplace and we talked for a few hours. It is great to have friends to talk and chill with, sans drama and pettiness!

The pic to the right is of Nada when were kicking it a few weeks back. She was rocking my pimp jewelry from my Pimp Daddy Costume...mwhahaa!!

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Wednesday, November 27, 2002
Houston Asaunta and Natalie have arrived! Albeit a WHOLE hour late! Hahaha!! I was stressing about having enough time to do stuff, because I woke up late. So went to UCSB and Goleta beach. Afterwards we went to State Street and make a complete fool of ourselves in public. One of the best part was walking along in from of Paseo Nuevo mall, and I had my phone pretending to talk to movie people. It's amazing what will happen when you drop names like "Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Matt Damon, Ben Afleck, J.Lo." and millions of dollars in public. Asaunta was right there with me, asking about times and what not. People were staring…not sure why haha!

[The pic to the left is my 12th grade senior pic! Don't laugh! Mwhahaha!]

The other funny thing was, near Stearns Warf pier and I was miming like running. I was about 10 feet from this white guy and when I did it, had this look of sheer terror on his face and we was off to the other side of the sidewalk! It was friggin' hilarious! For crying out loud people it is 2002! Mwhahahaha!!

After an early dinner at El Paseo we went to play pool at Q's. Which by the way didn't cost us ANYTHING, because the gal who got us the table messed up in the billing. So the guy tried to ring us up and couldn't so, he said forget about it! Haha!The day was really dope! I hadn't really hung out with anyone since high school and it was cool talking about the 'old days' from high school. It was also dope randomly breaking into whatever old school jam that was apropos to whatever we were doing…mwhahaha! Not to mention the old dances! We were busting out with the running man, cabbage patch, tootsie roll, bogle, and classic others. Ah, the good old days…Hahaha!

And like an UTTER moron I left my camera in the car the whole time!! Duh!!! Sorry Asaunta! By the way, she look very different; cuter even than in HS. I won't get into how she's changed, in fear of her wrath…Hahaha!

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Tuesday, November 26, 2002Z
Tonight flew! Loved it! I was starting to get really, really hyper about Asaunta's visit tomorrow. Trying to remember if I mentioned this in the journal…hmmm. Don't think so! Ok, so I've known Asaunta from my junior year in high school. She and I used to hang around some of the same folks; outcasts, geeks, nerds and the other usual suspects. We hung out my senior year, the following summer when I went back to visit and kept in touch. We recently got back in touch with each other and is going to visit a friend in LA. So they're going to come up here and kick it for the day…woohaaa!

So I've been racking my brains as to what to do when they arrive. Santa Barbara has a little bit of everything for different taste.

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Sunday, November 24, 2002
There should be laws about shopping at department stores!! Some should go as follows:

1) If you open something to touch, feel, or otherwise inspect an item, that was NOT opened before you have to buy said item! You are NOT allowed to reach back into the pile and get a "fresh one", for the one you opened was 'fresh' to begin with!
2) If you really are not going to buy the aforementioned item, you must replace in it packaging or at least alert someone that it needs to be repackaged. Throwing something in a corner on the floor where it could be stepped, tripped or soiled is NOT permitted!
3) If you know that you are going to commence your shopping excursion, 7 minutes before the store closes, keep your candy ass home!! Should you try to purchase said items 10 minutes AFTER the store has been announced to be closed and registers are 90% away from being closed, you are required to leave said articles for pick up the next day.

My old HR director called working retail an experience in "grassroots customer support." After doing this for a few months, I would have to agree. It really does get you up close and personal to the people. You get to see the good and bad of human behavior when people require service. Some are considerate in their needs and treat you as their equal. Some see you as subservient and as such you must 'attend' to them. There are many others, but most fall into one or the other groups.

After work, I stopped by Beth's for they have had a tragedy in the family. My heart goes out to her and her family. Please think happy thoughts or pray for them, as you see fit.

Then it was off to hang out with Jen from work. She is funky dope beyond belief.

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Saturday, November 23, 2002
I slept better last night, that I have slept in months. I actually woke up around 7:30AM on my own. Theories on why this abound: the mountain air, being away from my own drama, the quiet, being with my good friends or what. It was an awesome and I hope I am able to do this again. The experience was truly rejuvenating.

Extended shopping holiday hours is freaking ridiculous!! Who the hell shops this late?? Stay your butts home!! Yea I closed today. Bleh!!

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Friday, November 22, 2002
After lying up about 90% of the day, I got a reprieve. Yesterday I was got a bit too happy 'throwing around' the stock. Spent more of today attending to it; pills, hot and cold, the works. Called in to make sure I gave it a break.

Anyway, at the last minute I decided to take some friends up on a very, very cool offer. A night at El Capitan Canyon cabins!! As incentive they worked it out so I wouldn't have to pay ANYTHING for the night! How dope is that?!!? So I go, not really expecting anything, other than we would be at a "cabin". It was this really cool one room number with a loft, and there was a fire pit outside. A couple of folks couldn't make it so it turned out to be just Cami, Ed and I. We were hoping for a bigger turn out, but it was still cool nonetheless.

Ok, I really have no idea how to convey the depth of dopeness of this place. I built and tended a fire we sat around and talked for literally hours! On a grate I even grilled a pizza. I have to admit, I am a grilling god! The grounds of this place is set in El Capitan Canyon, not far from the beach. Late at night you can hear the surf. If you can make it there, go!

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Wednesday, November 20, 2002
You ever have one of those days where you feel like The Matrix has you? I woke up feeling that way. From the second I opened my eyes I knew that today would be weird. Then about 1:45PM my manager called me and was like, "where are you??". And I was like, huh? In the middle of madness over the weekend he asked me to come in today and I totally forgot! In record time I got ready, and headed to work. Totally dropped the ball on this one!

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Tuesday, November 19, 2002
Tonight was the culmination of 11 weeks of our acting class and I have got say that I am the happiest mofo right now!! This was by the best term in acting class I've ever had! First off, there was an awesome group of people. A lot of us were in the play so we were able to spend a great deal of time with each other and that also brought us closer together. So I gotta give props, where props are due in no particular order cause I love them all:
Cami and Ed: they did a cold read because Richard was doing a rehearsal and couldn't make it, so Ed filled in. Oh my ever-loving God! Ed kicked ass! He is a MASTER of cold reads as far as I'm concerned. After having the script for all of 90 minutes he delivered a very compelling performance! And Cami! She rocked! It was by far her best of anything, I've seen her do. It was very impressive!

Tom and Don: Don wasn't in the play but Tom was, and these 2 were amazing. They did a comedy where they are like the art aficionados who have known each other for a long time. Tom's character buys this painting that's supposed to be a masterpiece (well to him). The damned thing is white! Nothing BUT white, with a tape border! Their timing was totally on! It was the funniest piece up there!

Lauren and Debbie: They did a scene The Children's Story (I think), and it was incredibly dramatic. They both rocked in it. I was especially impressed with Lauren as she usually does a lot of comedy, but she kicked ass with this. My heart went for them it was that good.

Gessupie and I: This scene was a challenge for us on a number of levels, but the biggest one was the language barrier. Italian is his first language. Still he studied and memorized his lines, and with a lot of hard work he pulled it off! I did a pretty good job, considering that I hadn't memorized my lines. We were both still sorta on-book, but we still kicked butt.

My monologue: This was by far the most challenging thing I've done in class because it was TOTALLY different. I thought that just memorizing the lines or sticking anyone in there to talk to would help, but in the end it was Debbie who really grounded me. Sorry to say in it I was a bastard. I was explaining the bed ridden, sheltered girl I've known since high school, that I just kissed how, how I could never call or ask her for a date. I suck.

Frankly everyone did very well! So if I didn't mention something or someone here, it doesn't mean that they didn't do well.

This time around, I didn't invite anyone to come see me perform, but not because I thought I would suck. Rather I wanted this to be mine. Doing the play taught me a couple of things. One lesson was, as an actor I can do a good job for an audience (be it large or small) or we can aspire to do a good job for ourselves. My first scene some 2 years ago was definitely done for me because I had to overcome a serious phobia to pull it off. Having taken this time off and coming back, this was something I wanted to do for me.

We did good. I did good.

The pic of me and my friend Allison (of Jay and Allison up north mentioned in the Treehouse), back when I first moved to Santa Barbara in 1997. Click it for a larger version. Isn't she a hottie!! She still is! Woohaa! This pic the start of a series of pics, I'm calling uncreatively, 'My History'. I will be periodically posting pics from different parts of my life, that are not included in the gallery. Just don't laugh at the baby or corny ones to come.

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Sunday, November 17, 2002
Last day of performance. I've been looking forward to this day with a mix of angst and joy. We all went 9 for 9 for better or worse. The latter reared its ugly head today as Lana started to get sick right before the first scene. We were all concerned, but she dealt with and came out ready to take care of business.

My friend Nada came to see the final performance and that was totally dope. I decided to forgo the after party to come back here and chill. Her and I were both hungry enough to eat a small calf. So we came back here to cook up some grub and chill.

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Saturday, November 16 2002
One of the things that I won't be missing from this performance is getting up to work for 8 hours and then going to do a performance. That really sucks ass! Like you would not believe! It's twice as draining; doing 9 hours at work, the drive to Carp and then actual performance. Bah. However I was able to have lunch with Tasha, and Eydie and Sabrina (Eydie and Dave's baby girl).

After the performance Tom suggested we all go to Soho instead of the usual Palms in downtown Carp. Me, Dave and Bill had other ideas because we were hungry. Have I mentioned how hungry and drained one can get after a performance?? We tried hitting this fish & chips place on State, but the joint was closed by the time we rolled up. We did manage to run into our cop friend. He had fun busting some heads that night. The guys and I ended up at Fat Burger. Artery clogging goodness! I haven't been there in years! It was good to be home!

Then we met up with everyone at Soho, where I ran into some customers at work! They rolled up on me asking for towels, and I was like excuse me, cause I hadn't recognized them, but then I did! Gotta remember that next if it happens haha!

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Friday, November 15, 2002
Today felt odd. Don't ask me why, but it just did. First thing I did was take my car to get the oil changed, because it was waaay overdue. Frankly that money could have been very useful elsewhere, but I remembered back to my first car when I didn't do regular maintenance and after about 2 years it was ready to die. Not again. I can't afford to be fixing major things again. And the price has gone up!! Sons of bitches!! Disposal fees, oil, and some other crap went up too. Labor is still the same, but the damned supplies!

Went to the beach to have lunch and read a bit. It was a classic Santa Barbara day today. Not a cloud in the sky and easily 75 degrees. They are doing some work on the beach, I guess trying to correct for erosion or something, so there were the sound of earth movers to contend with, but other than that it was golden.

Tonight we had one of larger audiences and they were very receptive. That was dope! Afterwards the cast hung out and that was cool too.

Ok, time for a B&M session, a.k.a. 'Bitching and Moaning' session. At 27 years old, I am the youngest member of the cast by at least 10 years! Someone pointed in out tonight and I was like, dang you're right. Wherever I go, I'm in some really weird temporal relationship to the people around me. Either they're much much older or younger. Either way I'm f&*@! with not so much as a thank you very much afterwards. It's always been the way and I can't even begin to speculate why. Most of the time it's not an issue, however it becomes a huge pain in the ass when I'm interested in someone or vice versa. Usually this will happen: hey Tony/her is kinda cute, what's their story? Tony/she is how old???? That's it. Nuff said. Dating older women was never a problem, however now HOW old does give me cause for pause. Conversely, when someone found out my age I wouldn't be upset if they thought I was too young, even though carried myself and looked older. Bah.

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Wednesday, November 14, 2002
There is all kinds of crap going on in my life at the moment, but today there was a break in the storm. There is a core class that is required by my major that regularly gets filled up because it is filled with Law and Society majors, Political Science AND Anthropology majors. The damned idiots in all their wisdom decided this critical class should only be offered once a year! So if you can't get in it, guess what? You're f*&!, with no dinner or so much as an eff you very much. I called my major's office today to see if there is a petition or anything going on to make the class offered again, and low and behold there is now a "substitute" in place. A student takes 3 classes, 2 of which are mandatory and the last, the substitute will satisfy this other class. Well I've already done 2 of the 3 and only need to do this 'substitute' class! This means I won't have to wait another year to get into a class that's filled 30 minutes after registration opens and if you don't get in has a 40 person waiting list!! Wooohaaa!!!

The other cool thing was tonight, I was in my first music video! Wooohaa!!! A couple of my friends are musicians and asked me to be in it. Their music is very much like Enya or Clannad, in that it is a very ethereal and stuff. In the video I am the 'primal and dark drummer'. Did I mention that I've never played the drums? Haha! James dropped the CD off and some drum sticks and 36 hours, I was a Milli-Vanilli style drummer baby! Mwahahahah!! I swear that drummers never need therapists, because it was very very carthatic! Can't wait to see the final video!! And oh yea, whoever said that doing music videos is fun, needs a swift kick in the ass! It is WORK! Haha!

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Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Today's 'event' is acting class and that went really well. The only downside was Cami came in feeling ill and that wasn't cool. She's a trooper and unfortunately had to leave early. Hope you're feeling better shorty!!

Gisseppie and I delivered our scene, "The Private Ear". I play his best friend who is helping him get ready for this really important date. However, he isn't the most socially adept person, shall we say? Hahaha! After that I gave a monologue from "The Glass Menagerie" and did something a little different. When you give a monologue, you're supposed to be directing it to someone, whether they are physically there or not. So I added a different classmate from the first time I delivered it. This time I made it really personal and the difference was clear to me doing it, and everyone else watching.

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Sunday, November 10, 2002
Could I not be a bigger un-morning person? I don't think so because today typified it! Got home last night at midnight, then didn't get to sleep till 1:30 A.M. and THEN had to be up at 7:30 A.M. for work! Bleh! Don't think I re-entered my body till around noon! Got ticked off today too, because I kicked ass at work and was sure I was one of the top sales folks for the day, knocking down $3600 in sales! But the report or whatever wasn't generated in time - grrr!!!

Sunday matinee performances are tough because they seem to be really low energy. Not sure if it's just us or the audience too or what. We finally summoned the energy to punch through and had a good one. One of the highlights of the day was sitting in the parking lot, eating my sub, music from my car playing, and bright beautiful sunlight on my shoulders. It was a good afternoon!

My friend Chelsea, seen in the pic and in many others on my photo gallery is going through some major bad times. If you're reading this, send some positive vibes her way or something.

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Saturday, November 09, 2002
Ok, tonight was exemplified one of the reasons people perform, because the audience was with us each second! It was dope like that! There are moments when you get an audience that is err, not very responsive shall we say. The case could be hitting on all cylinders; not dropping any lines, timing right on, relationship all there. Yet, the audience may sit there impassive. Tonight was one those nights. We were all over each and every act, yet the audience barely had a pulse.

Audrey came up from L.A. to see the play and that was straight coolness! After the play we hung out and caught up. We also had lunch earlier in the day and did more catching up. That's what happens I guess when you don't see people for dog years! Hahaha! Well ok, may be just months.

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Friday, November 8, 2002
Hmm…lemme check…yup I still live in Santa Barbara! It's been raining like friggin' Malaysia, Indonesia or some friggin' Asian country!! Dave and I drove to the performance and it was like the first night of 40 days and 40 nights of biblically inspired rain! Jeezus! Don't get me wrong, I love rain. However the idea of hydroplaning across 3 lanes of traffic does not seem appealing. Back home on St. Thomas it would rather liked the rain. It would rain and these warm droplets of water would fall. That was dope! However if you were at the beach when this happened, you'd be literally pelted by the droplets! With the rain and all we were worried about having an audience at all, but we ended up having one!

Afterwards we went to a place in Montecito to unwind and was treated by this loud obnoxious fat man, who could have been a Fat Joe look alike. Looked like her was pissing people off in his group too. You ever meet someone who talks so loud, it seems like they can't hear themselves? Yea, that was this guy.

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Thursday, November 7, 2002
Had another weird dream. Really whigged me out. I don't remember what it was about, but it was really jacked up.

Alana emailed for a last minute lunch and we met up at Natural Café. She was looking amazing as usual and the conversation was dope as usual. She's gonna make some dude (probably the guy she's dating! Lol) really happy. She's dope like that. One of the things we got into was the whole Real World B.S. that's going on on MTV. Allegedly the way they did casting this year very different cause all they did was put an ad in the paper for "exhibitionist" haha!

One my favorite activities for clearing my head is walking around through a Barns & Noble. Buying anything is secondary to checking out the books, listening to whatever CD they're promoting through the store PA, and the like. Needed to do that. Worked like a charm. Afterwards, went over and caught a matinee of I-Spy. Which I have to admit was pretty damned funny!

Later that night after talking to my roomies about the dream and stuff, I really didn't want to stay home. Called up my friend Nada (Java Station gal) and we talked for a bit and we ended up taking a trip to IHOP for a late breakfast…good stuff there buddy!! Afterwards she asked about watching a movie back here; sounded great to me! Told her about Loving Jezebel, one of my favorite movies of all time now!! If you can find it: rent it, quick!! We stopped off at 7/11 to get something to drink and of course everything was friggin' expensive!! So went off to Albertson's, where she grabs this jug of wine!! Hahaha!! No she didn't drink it all, but the site of seeing a JUG of wine (for $6.99 value savings of course) was freaking hilarious. When we finally got back and she poured a glass, the stuff looked like grape kool-aid! Haha! Anyway, we watched the movie, listened to music, and ended up having a rather in depth theological discussion about several topics.

For the record: Mollie is 16!!! She is like a SISTER to me!!! May be even a niece cause Cami is like a sister! Haha! Y'all stop thinking she's older or worse yet, we're dating!!! Geez!!

And dammit and I can't wait to get back to the play!

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Wednesday, November 6, 2002
Some how I managed to get myself into drama. I hate drama with a burning passion! The funny thing is I saw it coming, but I ignored it. Thought that being in the mix would be different and ignoring my gut would work out - wrong! One of the things I've learned that can pretty much be called an axiom is thus: if someone rags on themselves, saying they aren't nice, don't deserve to be treated well, and basically owning up to a litany of issues you didn't think exist, 9.9 time out of 10 it's true. God forbid it's a family member talking about another family member! Screw that looking at people's better nature crap, that's your cue to run! No one knows themselves better, than them. It's a simple as that. It gets complicated when you hit upon people who lie as easily as they tell the truth. It's a very fluid practice and if you don't know the person you'd never know. Take my advice and feel me on this: RUN! Staying only makes you a fool and target practice!

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Tuesday, November 5, 2002
Work. Bah. In addition, I began uploading this new layout you are seeing. Check it out, kick the tires in and let me know if anything looks awry. What does 'awry' mean? Well if there is space where a graphic should be, text that's bleeding into spaces it shouldn't and stuff like that. If you come across anything like that let me know, and you'll win my undying gratitude!! :

In the mean time, come back as I'm adding new sections to the site!

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Monday, November 4, 2002
Today was a fairly uneventful day save for hanging out with one of my co-workers after work. We went to this coffee joint called the Java Station that was totally dope. It was like one big living room replete fire place on one wall. We talked so long that we closed the place. I looked up and noticed that we were the only people there! How funny is that! Haha! Afterwards we had the munchies and then went and got some Freebirds.

The coupe de grace of the night was she directed up to this trailer park to show me what her and her family have affectionately referred to as 'Mecca'. Try to picture you worse Halloween front yard makeover and then multiply that image by a factor about 35! The WHOLE lot was filled with eviscerated animals, creepy looking scare crows, critters in branches, nooks and crannies. If a square foot was free of anything, I'd be surprised. She said that it was creepy and tried to warn, but damn! It was very, very disconcerting! Creepy doesn't even begin to describe this place!

Tuesday, November 5, 2002
Work. Bah. In addition, I began uploading this new layout you are seeing. Check it out, kick the tires in and let me know if anything looks awry. What does 'awry' mean? Well if there is space where a graphic should be, text that's bleeding into spaces it shouldn't and stuff like that. If you come across anything like that let me know, and you'll win my undying gratitude!! :-) In the mean time, come back as I'm adding new sections to the site!

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Monday, November 4, 2002
Today was a fairly uneventful day save for hanging out with one of my co-workers after work. We went to this coffee joint called the Java Station that was totally dope. It was like one big living room replete fire place on one wall. We talked so long that we closed the place. I looked up and noticed that we were the only people there! How funny is that! Haha! Afterwards we had the munchies and then went and got some Freebirds.

The coupe de grace of the night was she directed up to this trailer park to show me what her and her family have affectionately referred to as 'Mecca'. Try to picture you worse Halloween front yard makeover and then multiply that image by a factor about 35! The WHOLE lot was filled with eviscerated animals, creepy looking scare crows, critters in branches, nooks and crannies. If a square foot was free of anything, I'd be surprised. She said that it was creepy and tried to warn, but damn! It was very, very disconcerting! Creepy doesn't even begin to describe this place!

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Sunday, November 3, 2002
Oh today went very much different for us on stage! Cami's scenes were apparently the best she has done all weekend. Unfortunately not many people were there to witness this! Grrr!!! Apparently matinees at the theater don't draw large crowds. My mission for the next 2 weekends is to draw as many people out as possible.

After the play Dave, Cami, Lauren, and me went back to Cami and John's to kick back in the Jacuzzi and get our grub on. We sat around and talked about how things went well and, er, not so well! Haha!

3 down and 6 to go. Dave and I are doing the count-down till the last! These are friggin' draining! Getting into character and staying there can be an emotional drain. Still it's one of the most challenging and rewarding things I've done in a long time. On top of that, since most of are doing more than one character, we have to shift moods and what not. After the play ends, I'll talk more about individual parts. For those of you in town who want to see me, will have to come out and witness in person!! Haha!

Oh yea…be on the look out for a complete Treehouse redesign!! It's waaay past due! I've been so busy

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Saturday, November 2, 2002
Tonight we rocked! Good thing we did, because the Judy (our acting teacher) was in the audience! Everyone was hitting on all cylinders! Afterwards we went to a bar/club near the venue and danced. Well I dragged people onto the floor and danced. Sitting around while a great band is playing, is NOT my idea of a good time!

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